are you serious?

Tiffany Le is a writer who digs the occasional meatball sub, thinks shiba inus are very handsome dogs, and fears being farted on by the person in front of her while walking up stairs.

My new favorite Tumblr marries Archer and Mad Men.

I hope I don’t show up on some kind of list for saying this, but Bobcat Goldthwait’s new film “God Bless America” looks like my wet dream. Also, it stars Freddy Rumsen (Joel Murray), the greatest man to ever play Mozart on the fly of his pants. It’s the way Mozart would have wanted it.

I hated these “Shit Blanks Say” videos from the first time I laid eyes on one and couldn’t pinpoint why, but Josh Kurp from Warming Glow summed it up perfectly in his description of the “Shit Tim Allen Says” video above:

It’s brilliant, a response to the fact that no one’s actually saying anything in the Sh*t videos. They’re just a series of observational non-jokes that even Carlos Mencia wouldn’t steal (probably). “I ALSO hate it when that stoplight never changes to green when it’s below 50 degrees on the third Tuesday of every May outside of that bar that means something to me, but NOTHING to anyone else.” It’s the lowest form of comedy – not unlike Tim Taylor’s “Home Improvement” he-man grunts and UHHHHHNNNNs.

(Source: warmingglow.uproxx.com)

it's the 2012 Academy Award nominees

Never in my life did I think I could truthfully, seriously say, Academy Award-nominated actor Jonah Hill.

I am ALWAYS Seth Rogen’s character in this clip from 50/50! So if you’re dating any of my friends, don’t be shitty to them. Just don’t.

I love my cousin (in a completely disgusting way)

Me: I'm on this cleanse/detox and I can't eat beef or pork for the next two weeks.
Christine: ...Yeah, we can't hang out.

stfuconservatives:

labocat:

Taken from the Honest Girl Scouts campaign. For a campaign trying to get people /not/ to buy cookies and /not/ support the GSUSA, this is doing an awful lot to suddenly make me want /to/ support the GSUSA. (and I’m saying this a a former Girl Scout of about 6 years who hasn’t bought cookies in years because they’re too expensive).

I see so much acceptance here, and especially in a time in children’s lives where acceptance is so important, taking that away from them is just cruel.

If you don’t have a niece or young neighbor, plug in your ZIP code here to find a pro-abortion feminist-minded little girl to sell you some sweet, sweet progressive cookies.

BRING ON THE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! Progressiveness tastes delicious, especially when it comes in Thin Mint.

legalizedrugsandmurder Asked

QuestionOH MY GOD UR TITS ARE HUGE Answer

Yes, my tits are huge in my Tumblr picture. But alas, they’re fake, and made from this fine man-made material:

I was watching “That 70’s Show” while baked and thought the laugh track sounded really sarcastic.

Uh, Facebook, what exactly is THIS better than?