May 2012
3 posts
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Why You Should Watch Mad Men →
It’s hard to get me to shut up about Mad Men, I know. Here’s yet another article that hits the nail on the head as to why YOU NEED TO WATCH IT UGGHHH I WISH I COULD RUB MY FACE ALL OVER THIS SHOW:
It’s the layers and complexity and detail that make Mad Men truly special. It also makes it hard to get into, and can be hard to follow for someone who isn’t a devout viewer. The show can...
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“Who are you to talk? You French-Canadian kissed her mother, which is my name for...”
– Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) to Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin), 30 Rock
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Episode 12: The Bad Cats
--------: 1:24 PM
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
RickDickens77: What's up
LouisTheCat: im in bad shape here rick
RickDickens77: What did you do now
LouisTheCat: it wasnt my fault
LouisTheCat: i got in a fight
RickDickens77: A fight?? What happened?
LouisTheCat: it was the bad cats
RickDickens77: Oh my god Lou, are you ok?
RickDickens77: How bad is it?
LouisTheCat: im not good
LouisTheCat: ill probably live
LouisTheCat: but im not good
LouisTheCat: i need you home
RickDickens77: Wow, Lou, I'm so sorry
RickDickens77: I'll be home as soon as I can, ok?
LouisTheCat: please hurry rick
--------: 1:49 PM
RickDickens77: Lou, I'm still working on getting out of here
LouisTheCat: rick you gotta get home man
LouisTheCat: things are getting bad here
RickDickens77: I know, I'm trying
RickDickens77: My boss is driving me crazy
LouisTheCat: is it because hes black
RickDickens77: ...What?
LouisTheCat: is your boss driving you crazy because hes black
RickDickens77: No. That's not why.
RickDickens77: My boss isn't even black.
LouisTheCat: is it because hes siamese
RickDickens77: No. Siamese? No. My boss is white, like me, not that it matters.
LouisTheCat: is it because hes a woman
RickDickens77: No, my boss isn't- OK what is this about
LouisTheCat: ive just heard some things rick
LouisTheCat: some terrible things
RickDickens77: Right. From who.
LouisTheCat: the bad cats
RickDickens77: The bad cats. The bad cats were talking about me.
LouisTheCat: thats right
LouisTheCat: why do you think i got in a fight
RickDickens77: You got in a fight because of me?
LouisTheCat: i got in a fight defending your honor rick
RickDickens77: What on earth were they saying?
LouisTheCat: some things i dont even want you to have to hear
RickDickens77: Try me.
LouisTheCat: are you sure
RickDickens77: Out with it.
LouisTheCat: they say youre racist rick
RickDickens77: Well, that's crazy.
LouisTheCat: is it
LouisTheCat: is it rick
RickDickens77: Why, do you agree?
LouisTheCat: well
LouisTheCat: is it or is it not true that you targeted the two black cats down the street for tearing up our doormat
RickDickens77: They were the ones doing it!
LouisTheCat: sounds like profiling to me
RickDickens77: There were chunks of it in their back yard!
LouisTheCat: circumstantial evidence
RickDickens77: Wait, this is ridiculous.
RickDickens77: Those cats are troublemakers.
LouisTheCat: those cats
LouisTheCat: listen to yourself
RickDickens77: I don't hold an opinion about black cats, the ones who did that just happen to be black.
LouisTheCat: so you expect us to believe you didnt look to them first
LouisTheCat: because of their color
RickDickens77: All cats are the same!
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: wow
LouisTheCat: i dont even know what to say
LouisTheCat: just wow
RickDickens77: You know what I mean.
LouisTheCat: sure i know
LouisTheCat: we cats are all the same
LouisTheCat: lazy
LouisTheCat: untrustworthy
LouisTheCat: good at basketball
LouisTheCat: ive heard them all rick
RickDickens77: Stop it.
LouisTheCat: anyway thats not all they say about you
RickDickens77: I can't wait.
LouisTheCat: now i dont think this is true
LouisTheCat: theyre probably just making this up
LouisTheCat: but these guys say youre a cat smuggler
RickDickens77: A what.
LouisTheCat: a cat smuggler
RickDickens77: I don't think there is any such thing.
LouisTheCat: youd be surprised
LouisTheCat: happens all the time
RickDickens77: It does?
LouisTheCat: oh rick you would not believe
RickDickens77: I bet I wouldn't. Anyway, why would they think that about me?
LouisTheCat: apparently
LouisTheCat: and trust me they would never hear this from me
LouisTheCat: but theres this rumor that a few years ago you took a cat from old mrs wembley
RickDickens77: Oh really.
LouisTheCat: just saying what i heard
RickDickens77: That's a pretty bold accusation.
LouisTheCat: the true ones often are
RickDickens77: Well that one does happen to be true.
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick no
LouisTheCat: how could you even
RickDickens77: IT WAS YOU LOU.
LouisTheCat: you stole me oh my god
RickDickens77: NO, SHE GAVE YOU TO ME.
RickDickens77: She had like ten cats, and she was getting too old to take care of them, so she was giving them away.
LouisTheCat: oh that mrs wembley
RickDickens77: Yeah. That Mrs. Wembley. I had permission to take you.
LouisTheCat: ok well lets say for a second that i buy that
LouisTheCat: and im not saying these guys will
LouisTheCat: but even if i believe you about that much
LouisTheCat: they also say
LouisTheCat: and again this is just what im hearing on the streets
LouisTheCat: they say theres a lady who left here smelling like cat pee
RickDickens77: Oh, for God's sake.
LouisTheCat: hey thats just the word out there
RickDickens77: I bet if you think REAL HARD, you can figure out what that one's about.
LouisTheCat: yeah ok i might remember something about that
LouisTheCat: still
LouisTheCat: you have to admit it looks suspicious
RickDickens77: I have to do nothing of the sort.
RickDickens77: Now listen, I need to get back to work so I can get home and help you out.
LouisTheCat: theres one more thing rick
RickDickens77: Alright, go. Quickly.
LouisTheCat: you drive a ford festiva
LouisTheCat: the whole neighborhood thinks you drive a festiva
RickDickens77: I do drive a Festiva. It's a good American car.
LouisTheCat: oh god i cant even
LouisTheCat: i just barfed
LouisTheCat: rick why
RickDickens77: It's a car, what's the big deal
LouisTheCat: oh my god i cant even stop barfing
LouisTheCat: rick who are you
LouisTheCat: im trying to defend you rick
LouisTheCat: im putting my reputation on the line out there
LouisTheCat: taking back things i said about you
LouisTheCat: but youre not giving me much to work with
RickDickens77: Ok, ok, enough
RickDickens77: Who are these "bad cats" anyway
LouisTheCat: oh the persians
LouisTheCat: awful breed
LouisTheCat: slippery
LouisTheCat: evil
LouisTheCat: godless
LouisTheCat: hate shorthairs
RickDickens77: You have got to be kidding me.
LouisTheCat: i wish i were rick
LouisTheCat: the world is a troubled place
--------: 2:25 PM
RickDickens77: Alright look
RickDickens77: I offered to work the weekend to get out of here early today
RickDickens77: So I'm on my way. Hang in there pal.
RickDickens77: Thanks for sticking up for me, sorry you got hurt.
--------: RickDickens77 has gone offline
LouisTheCat: no no i won that fight its just the tv wont turn on
April 2012
1 post
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March 2012
11 posts
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Boss: When you're researching dental offices, what's the first thing you look for? It's probably not how fancy the office is, but how good the dentist is, right?
Me: I don't have health insurance, so if some person off the street showed me a Waterpik and offered to clean my teeth in an alley I'd probably say yes. So I'm not the right person to ask.
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“That’s the one nice thing about being a dork about men: you can sometimes...”
– Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
Dad: Have you seen your brother’s new TV?
Me: Yeah, of course.
Dad: How’s the picture? Is it clearer than the other TV?
Me: What? Oh, no, I haven’t seen it while it’s on. I thought you meant have I seen it, like how I’m seeing this keyboard right now, or this mug.
Dad:
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“It’s like Jay-Z says: ‘Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up. There’s...”
– Liz Lemon
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Vulture: What Makes Mad Men Great? →
Mad Men’s characters are more true to life than any others on TV because they’re so random, inscrutable, and mysterious, and because there’s no propulsive generic master narrative (the building of a gangster coalition, the completion of a stretch of railroad track, the creation of an innovative drug cartel) on which to string their decisions, revelations, and misfortunes. People do things and...
February 2012
5 posts
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In Defense of Liz Lemon →
For all the Liz Lemon haters out there, tl;dr Liz Lemon is actually awesome and you are wrong.
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Quirkyalone (noun): someone who enjoys being... →
I’ve finally found a word for my lifestyle!
Quirkyalone is not anti-love. It is pro-love. It is not anti-dating. It is anti-compulsory dating. We tend to be romantics. We prefer to be single rather than settle. In fact, the core of quirkyalone is the inability to settle. We spend a signficant chunk of our lives single because we hold relationships to a high standard.
Worrrrd.
January 2012
10 posts
9 tags
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it's the 2012 Academy Award nominees →
Never in my life did I think I could truthfully, seriously say, Academy Award-nominated actor Jonah Hill.
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I love my cousin (in a completely disgusting way)
Me: I'm on this cleanse/detox and I can't eat beef or pork for the next two weeks.
Christine: ...Yeah, we can't hang out.
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legalizedrugsandmurder-deactiva asked: OH MY GOD UR TITS ARE HUGE
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I was watching “That 70’s Show” while baked and thought the laugh track sounded really sarcastic.
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Liz Lemon: You know what, this whole thing is unfair. You’re juggling two beautiful women while I have to pay to have kickballs whipped at me. This is gender inequity out the yang.
Jack Donaghy: This has nothing to do with the slight difference in our genders.
Liz Lemon: Yes, it does. The older you get, the more distinguished you are. Meanwhile, I’m reading a book called “Hide Your Arms, Hide...
December 2011
5 posts
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Anonymous asked: do you have a big cock
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“Writers aren’t people, exactly. Or, if they’re any good,...”
– Cecelia Brady, “The Love of the Last Tycoon” by F. Scott Fitzgerald
November 2011
5 posts
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October 2011
2 posts
3 tags
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September 2011
2 posts
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August 2011
3 posts
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I had a dream last night that I was dating some hot famous dude (I think it was Ryan Gosling) and then I made out with Jon Hamm, and possibly-Ryan Gosling was totally cool with it. I think my brain’s rewarding me for all the hard work. Maybe I should deprive myself of sleep more often.
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“This person mourns the fact that she has ruined her one chance to be loved by...”
– “This Person”, Miranda July
July 2011
4 posts
I find I’m not great at being friends with the average girl. Usually they end up getting mad at me for an unknown reason, and then refuse to talk it out. However, I’m not letting that turn me into one of those ignorant “OMG I HATE GIRLS GUYS ARE SO MUCH BETTER TO BE FRIENDS WITH” chicks. I’m extremely grateful for the female friends I do have. Thanks for letting me...
Le Grill
I just assembled a huge-ass barbecue grill with my dad, and he didn’t freak out once. Also, it actually looks more like the first picture than the second! Miracles can happen!
To everyone who was trying to hold a party on the...
Of course you’re going to get shut down. What, do you think they’re closing it down for FUN?! It’s for freaking construction! That’s why you can’t have your idiotic parties on the 405, or even just walk around for the novelty of it? Seriously, how self-centered can people get?