January 2012
8 posts
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it's the 2012 Academy Award nominees →
Never in my life did I think I could truthfully, seriously say, Academy Award-nominated actor Jonah Hill.
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I love my cousin (in a completely disgusting way)
Me: I'm on this cleanse/detox and I can't eat beef or pork for the next two weeks.
Christine: ...Yeah, we can't hang out.
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legalizedrugsandmurder asked: OH MY GOD UR TITS ARE HUGE
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I was watching “That 70’s Show” while baked and thought the laugh track sounded really sarcastic.
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Liz Lemon: You know what, this whole thing is unfair. You’re juggling two beautiful women while I have to pay to have kickballs whipped at me. This is gender inequity out the yang.
Jack Donaghy: This has nothing to do with the slight difference in our genders.
Liz Lemon: Yes, it does. The older you get, the more distinguished you are. Meanwhile, I’m reading a book called “Hide Your Arms, Hide...
December 2011
5 posts
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Anonymous asked: do you have a big cock
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“Writers aren’t people, exactly. Or, if they’re any good,...”
– Cecelia Brady, “The Love of the Last Tycoon” by F. Scott Fitzgerald
November 2011
5 posts
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October 2011
2 posts
3 tags
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September 2011
2 posts
3 tags
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August 2011
3 posts
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I had a dream last night that I was dating some hot famous dude (I think it was Ryan Gosling) and then I made out with Jon Hamm, and possibly-Ryan Gosling was totally cool with it. I think my brain’s rewarding me for all the hard work. Maybe I should deprive myself of sleep more often.
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“This person mourns the fact that she has ruined her one chance to be loved by...”
– “This Person”, Miranda July
July 2011
4 posts
I find I’m not great at being friends with the average girl. Usually they end up getting mad at me for an unknown reason, and then refuse to talk it out. However, I’m not letting that turn me into one of those ignorant “OMG I HATE GIRLS GUYS ARE SO MUCH BETTER TO BE FRIENDS WITH” chicks. I’m extremely grateful for the female friends I do have. Thanks for letting me...
Le Grill
I just assembled a huge-ass barbecue grill with my dad, and he didn’t freak out once. Also, it actually looks more like the first picture than the second! Miracles can happen!
To everyone who was trying to hold a party on the...
Of course you’re going to get shut down. What, do you think they’re closing it down for FUN?! It’s for freaking construction! That’s why you can’t have your idiotic parties on the 405, or even just walk around for the novelty of it? Seriously, how self-centered can people get?
June 2011
3 posts
Having trouble getting down to some serious work. Have some fluffy puppies, Internet.
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May 2011
6 posts
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Carl’s Jr. has once again made a commercial with a B-list star in a bikini, this time with Olivia Munn following in the unsteady footsteps of Paris Hilton and Audrina Patridge. These are such honest ads. Carl’s Jr. isn’t that great and neither are their models. It’s like a list of things you might consider if you were drunk.
-WWTDD
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Dear friends,
If you’re going to ask me for a favor, just get to the point. I don’t need polite chatter to ease me in. In fact, I hate small talk, and you’re going to wish I never agreed to do you the favor. If you’re worried that I’ll think less of you without it, don’t worry; I already do. :D
Love,
Me
P.S. This especially applies to text messages. I...
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April 2011
5 posts
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WatchThe Colbert Report segment “My Fair Colbert: Stephen Colbert’s Crown Jewels”, in which Stephen Colbert learns the proper British way to drink tea and how to meet royalty without making an ass out of yourself. Probably.
This put me in hysterics so intense I nearly threw a chair across the room, so yeah, it’s worth it to watch all three.
March 2011
7 posts
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Koreans to become the new guidos/guidettes. Oh... →
sw00natra asked: Why hello there friend, I never thought my friends would stumble upon my rather homosexual blog, but I suppose there's no use hiding. =P
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Strange Burials →
tamburina:
Space Burial: A company in the USA called Memorial Space Flights will now launch your loved ones cremated remains in to outer space for a fee. In addition, they will provide you with a memorial service and an excellent spot from which to watch the rocket launch off with the remains. Because of the high price involved in each launch, the company only launches a small portion of the...
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