Dear friends,

If you’re going to ask me for a favor, just get to the point. I don’t need polite chatter to ease me in. In fact, I hate small talk, and you’re going to wish I never agreed to do you the favor. If you’re worried that I’ll think less of you without it, don’t worry; I already do. :D

Love,

Me

P.S. This especially applies to text messages. I don’t have an unlimited plan, unlike some of you.